New Dating Relationship Pitfalls – Making Assumptions

New Dating Relationship Pitfalls – Making Assumptions

It’s normal to make assumptions in a new dating relationship. However, relying on them too much in dating can cause problems. Such as misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and mismatched needs (Related Article: Counseling for Dating Anxiety). In the early stages of a relationship, insecurities are higher, and we don’t always ask the questions we’re really curious about. At some point, though, every relationship reaches a choice: keep guessing, or build the comfort to talk openly. Here are three common areas where assumptions often get in the way.

Expectations In Dating

Instead of lowering expectations, it’s better to focus on clear communication. We all have expectations, but problems happen when they aren’t shared. An unspoken expectation will likely go unmet, and that can feel like rejection or lack of care—even if it’s just poor communication. In early dating, expectations are especially tricky because they often change quickly. (Related Articles: Counseling Tip: Polarized Thinking Is Hurting You & The Truth About Expectations in Relationships).

Intentions 

People also struggle to share their true intentions in dating. Assuming someone’s intentions can set you up for disappointment or rejection. Being upfront may feel risky, but it usually leads to more security. At least makes it easier to see if your intentions match.

Direction

Direction is about the “big picture.” Some people date casually, while others think ahead to a long-term future. You don’t need to discussed it right away, but over time, it’s important to eventually talk about it. I often say: “Enjoy the stage you’re in, while staying mindful of where you want to go.” If one person is thinking long-term and the other is only thinking short-term, misunderstandings can grow—especially if those differences aren’t talked about. (Related Article: Premarital Therapy: How to Prepare for Married Life).

Get Help Today In Therapy

In both couples and individual therapy, you can receive support and concrete ideas on how to better communicate. This includes your expectations, intentions and directions in dating. It also covers talking about receiving support and insights into barriers that are making sharing these things difficult. (Related Article: How To Maintain Individuality in Shared Spaces: Essential Tips and Strategies). If you are noticing you struggle to communicate in any of these areas, reach out to us. Our office can help and schedule an appointment with one of our therapists.

Contact us today. We have therapy offices in Orem, South Jordan, Spanish Fork as well as telehealth for anyone in Utah.

Written by Brendan Ewell, Marriage and Family Therapist