Therapy Blog for Orem, Spanish Fork & South Jordan

Couples Counseling For Infertility

couples counseling for infertility, marriage therapyCouples counseling for infertility in Utah can help both of you make sense of what has and is happening and heal together. Infertility impacts so many couples for different reasons. Whatever the reason it is impacting you, it brings with it pain, confusion, anger and shame. It might also cause anxiety (Related Article: Counseling For Anxiety) or depression (Related Article: Depression Counseling). 


Here are some questions that you can address in therapy that might bring healing to your relationship as you deal with infertility. 


Who’s To Blame?


For the sake of your relationship and moving forward together, no one’s to blame. One of you might have a diagnosable condition that hinders the process of getting pregnant or even stops it completely. Or, you might have ‘unexplained infertility’. Nevertheless, you are in it together and don’t need to assign blame. You didn’t choose to become infertile or to have an issue that makes it more difficult. 


What If It’s Me That’s The Problem?


If it is you that has the diagnosable condition, there might be shame. Thoughts that you aren’t man enough to have kids or that you aren’t a good wife or woman. The inability to procreate seems to bring with it thoughts of worthlessness. If this is the case for you, know that it is going to hurt. It will be sad, scary and confusing – but it doesn’t change your worth as a human being. 


When you start to feel shame, its difficult to reach out to anyone. You might have a hard time talking with your spouse because its them that you think you have let down. You guys might be fighting or having a hard time figuring out what to think and feel. Know that this is normal and that you will get closer because of this struggle not in spite of it (Related Article: Marriage Counseling). You don’t have to magically et rid of infertility or get pregnant for the two of you to be healthy and happy together. As you learn skills to communicate, you will become closer. 


How Do I Heal?


Healing is hard enough on your own and seemingly harder as a couple. Sometimes infertility issues cause partners to lean out instead of in, towards each other. There are treatment approaches that can help you lean in, towards each other (Related Article: Couples Therapy). The seemingly backwards approach to healing involves being vulnerable with each other. It takes courage to open up and share your emotion about your experience with each other (Related Articles: Emotions 101: How To Be Healthy and 3 Principles of Emotional Health). It also takes courage and skill to share what yo uare feeling when your spouse has hurt you during this process of dealing with infertility (Related Article: How To Communicate Better Through Boundaries).


Couples counseling for infertility can be scary to start. It can be difficult to participate in. And, it can be helpful as you both try to heal together. 


Schedule a couples counseling session for infertility issues in Utah – South Jordan, Orem, Spanish Fork, or American Fork.


Written by Triston Morgan PhD 


Utah Therapy


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