Marriage Counseling In Orem

Marriage counseling in Orem can be effective. Most couples wait years too long to start couples therapy and their relationship pays the price (Related article: Couples Counseling: Why Waiting Can Hurt). If you and your spouse are on the fence about coming in or not, consider the following. 

Attend Or Not, Either Way, It’s Going To Be Hard

Whether you come into marriage counseling or not, your relationship is going to be hard. Both of those paths put you right in line with difficulty. Your decision to come to counseling, however, will put you on the path that can actually lead somewhere. Whereas, choosing to not get help will put you on the path that usually doesn’t lead towards progress.

You can choose to try to fix your marriage problem as you have in the past by not addressing them with help (Related Article: How To Communicate Effectively: Avoid These Two Communication Problems In Marriage). However, you will probably get the same results you’ve always got. This typically leads to fighting. Those fights usually start with either you or your spouse telling the other what to do (being their boss) or interpreting the other person (being the expert on them). And wow, that is a quick way to a fight.

Changing these patterns is difficult, and worth it. So, it’s going to be hard either way. Why not choose the path that gives you the chance to move your relationship forward? Trust in competent, caring professionals who are trained to help you go about your marriage problems in a different way.

Marriage Counseling Has Been Proven To Help

Marriage counseling has been shown to be effective in research (see Dr. Susan Johnson’s work for example). Going to marriage counseling is different than talking with your friend, parent or someone else. Marriage and family therapists are trained in counseling models that have proven to be effective (Related Article: Couples Therapy). They use methods that help you heal and move closer together as a couple. 

Two approaches have particular effectiveness and are models that I use in practice. The first is Emotionally Focused Therapy (Dr. Susan Johnson’s model). This approach focuses on creating emotional safety, sharing and being vulnerable, restructuring how you go about pain and discomfort in your relationship with your spouse. It’s seen as the gold standard for couples therapy. The second approach is the Gottman approach (Dr. John Gottman’s model). His is also research and science based approach and has decades of data to back it up. It focuses on psychoeducation and application. It also highlights knowing what makes marriages work and what makes marriages fail. 

Either of these approaches can put your relationship on the path towards healing. There are self help books available for both approaches. Therapists can help you apply what you are learning in those books in a way that will restructure your relationship.

Not All Marriage Counselors Are Like Your Last One

I mean this whether you have had a bad or a good experience the last time you went to counseling. Some therapists know what they are doing and can help. Others don’t and can’t. Finding the right one for you matters. All counselors are different and your next counselor might not approach things exactly like your last one – for better or worse. And thats ok. You just need to find the right fit. 

Also, therapy isn’t like you see on TV. It’s not a contest to see who is right and who is wrong. If done right, it’s a place where both of you can be heard and are on the same team (Related Article: What Is Emotional Safety In A Relationship? and Hold Emotional Space For Your Spouse). Even if you are fighting about something, you can validate each other emotions and understand them (Related Article: Emotions 101 and 3 Principles of Emotional Health). 

Marriage counseling can be an effective way to work through your problems and get on the same page. It’s scary and difficult and can make all the difference. 

Call to schedule a marriage counseling session near you in Orem, South Jordan, or Spanish Fork. We also to telehealth sessions. 

Written By Triston Morgan, PhD, Utah Marriage and Family Therapist